Guide for Ladies

Saturday, October 10, 2015

The Secret To Finding Your Career Passion


Are any of you in your last year of college right now? Are any of you struggling with questions similar to ”what is my career passion?” or ”how do I make sure I end up working with something I am passionate about?”

Maybe it is the economy, or just the way the news portrays it, but somehow it feels like fewer people succeed and more people then ever struggle or work with something they hate. This despite the fact that it seems like there are more inspiring careers to pursue then ever before.

You can do almost anything you can imagine, and make money out of it. The issue is only that you might have a lot of things you find interesting but you have no idea what you are PASSIONATE about. You have no idea what you want to be doing for the rest of your life.

Well, let me tell you: very few people know what they want to spend their entire life doing and a lot of success is due to a series of circumstances created by you being curious, lucky, and not letting fear come in the way of trying.

My advice to you is to take a moment to figure out what is important to you: money, free time, location, or maybe flexibility? Do you prefer more practical, strategic or analytical day-to-day activities? Also, brows around and check out different companies’ websites that you would like to work for and check what kind of opportunities they have that sound exciting. Then try it out.

Even if you want to be the CEO of say a media company or why not an oil company, or the executive director of an NGO, or a graphic designer, it is ok to start as the assistant, or the intern. Take those opportunities to look around, what are other positions at those companies, what are other companies in that sector and could you jump form this sector to a nearby sector that sounds more exciting? Most things are possible and you only need to look for what makes you excited today. Or in the next 1-2 years.

Even if you want to start your own company but don’t know what you want to offer, a great way to start is always to jump on a great opportunity that comes around. Sometimes, in this start up culture, we forget that school can’t teach us everything, and all great ideas are not hatched in classes. Experience of working for other companies can make you less afraid of starting your own. You can for example spend 1-2 years working for a small start up within a sector you find exciting, then jump to another small company– either in the same sector or another. Then who knows, you might have done an amazing job and gotten promoted and end up loving being part of someone else’s company, or you decide to continue on to start your own business and become a competitor.


Focus on issues you find interesting or exciting to work with, even if you are only the admin or the intern, as long as you get to be a part of something of value or interest to you – you are on the right track.

You could seriously go from working with theater production to arranging international ministerial meetings for your government. You can go from working at a local NGO to traveling the world working for the UN, or starting your own NGO and end up having projects in multiple countries.

You could move to your favorite city, or your paradise on earth and go into real-estate, or write children’ books, or work as a diving instructor for a while and then start your own business and start hiring diving instructors.

I am trying to make 2 points:

No 1. is that no matter your educational background, most things are possible. I mean, even if you are not educated you can become a scientist, just like Virginia E. Johnson. So, don’t ever think that you are stuck because you do not have an education or because you think you have the wrong education.

No 2. is that you should not waste time trying to figure out what you career passion is, instead just jump on the next fun or exciting opportunity that comes along. Ride the wave for a while and then if you get bored, se what doors this opportunity opened.

Ah and one last thing – I usually know that something is good and will lead to a lot of awesome things if I feel excitement mixed with a bit of fear. I will make sure to elaborate on the fear part another day. Hope you enjoyed the read and that this article helped you out!

Finally: What do you study or work with right now? I would love for you to take the time to share this with me in the comment section!




Similar posts you might like:
7 Questions to Make You Discover What Makes You Happy

Also, I stumbled upon this one website called Career Girl Daily a while ago which might just be a great place for you to get inspired further. 

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Monday, June 15, 2015

Acquired wealth and the friendship wealth gap

Excessive wealth is not the way to happiness.


However many times you hear this in your mind you think that things would be different for you. That you could probably handle it, and that you would not get as carries away as these clearly quite lost and unhappy people that you see all over the media.



I would like to tell you about a story that I came across some time ago in the newspapers.

It is a story about a normal person who happened to win 200 000 dollars.

It is not an excessive amount of money, and before winning this she was educated, came from a normal middle class home, was married with 2 kids, and lived a pretty standard life.

She was really excited to win the money, but she didn’t really know what to do with it. However, she told her family and her friends, and the next day at work word had spread.

Everyone congratulated her and started asking what she intended to do with the money, and she truthfully said she hadn’t decided yet.

But then things got strange.

Her husband suddenly and out of nowhere wanted to buy a boat. Her kids had made lists of things they wanted. Her siblings had called her and told her that it would only “be fair” if they got 10 000 dollars each out of that money. And on top of that her co-workers and friends started asking her if they could borrow big sums of money.

Even the bank called her to set up a meeting to talk investments.

She finally decided to simply pay of the loan on her house and put the rest of the money on a normal bank account and leave it there until people forgot it existed, and then decide what to do with that money later.


I think she handled the situation quite well. However, that’s not why I decided to tell this story.

I wanted to highlight the way in which people around you change when you acquire a lot of money. And the takeaway from this story is not the question of if you could handle the money or the change in people’s behaviour due to the money, but rather how your happiness would change due to all these changes.

Once you acquire a large sum of money, people seem to gravitate towards you in order to get a piece of it.

In the story above, even her family tried to get a piece of that money.

So you find yourself in a situation where you either start conforming to everyone’s requests, or get the people around you upset. Some even need to change their circle of friends due to economic differences.

Also, you will experience the issue of you suddenly affording things you always wanted to be able to afford, but none of the people around you can afford the same.

My point is that acquiring wealth can be a barrier to friendships and relationships.

And therefore, indirectly, a barrier to your happiness.

Maybe by this time you are thinking, “well, if my best friend can’t afford going to the spa and I can, I will pay for her too”.

Yes, you can, and I would of course promote generosity. However, ask yourself this: how many times can you pay for your friend before your friend starts feeling like she is a charity case. Or she starts feeling like she is taking advantage of your resources?  She might also feel like if she keeps turning the offers down because of her own financial situation she becomes that boring “no, I can’t” friend just because she cant afford saying “yes” to all your awesome ideas.

Because, if your friend’s income makes it impossible for her to ever reciprocate your generous gestures, the gifts you are handing out will only emphasize the wealth gap between you two, and create a stain that might end up being impossible to bear.

Also, while you do want to spoil your friends, and rather pay for someone to come on that weekend with you than to have to go alone. You don’t want your generosity to be abused.

You might decide to pick an activity that both you and your friends can afford to avoid financially uncomfortable situations, but then you start feeling that you have to settle for things that are lower standard than you would have wanted.

Its easy to dismiss all of this and say that real friends don’t have such problems. But with so many conflicting emotions – pride, envy, embarrassment, sympathy, empathy – it is rarely as easy in real life as it seems in theory.

Have you ever experienced a friendship wealth gap? How did you cope, and what was the end result?



Similar posts you might like:
Money can't buy you class

If you want more info on how to manage a friendship wealth gap, I recommend THIS article. Also, check out this movie on money and friendship, staring Jennifer Aniston, from 2006.

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Saturday, June 13, 2015

How to get your legs summer ready with these 5 super easy steps



I decided to start adding some posts on beauty on this blog.  And while this specific post is going to be about how to get your legs ready for summer, I want to start these beauty series by clarifying that the key to being beautiful is knowing that you already are.  These Guide for Ladies beauty series are simply going to give you some tips and tricks to boost your confidence or enhance the beauty you already possess, and do not aim to make you feel inadequate. 

With that, lets start this series of with my 5 super easy steps to summer ready legs:

I don’t know about you guys, but I live in a big city and sometimes it feels like we big city people end up having pale and dry legs all year around. Except for those weeks of vacation when we head to a sunny warm place and either get super read or are lucky to get an awesome tan that disappears soon after we return to our daily lives. But there are some really simple things you can do, and this is no rocket science.

I know there are many lists online on how to get your legs ready for summer but I found that most are a bit unnecessarily complicated and seem to make people want to go to the store to buy 10 new products. It’s as if everyone wants to come up with something new and it just becomes ridiculous.  So, therefore I decided to make my own –super easy- guide.

1. Dry brushing and peeling
This helps get rid of dead skin cells, boosts circulation and creates a softer, more glowing skin. Most have some form of peeling or dry brush at home, and if not dry brushing is undoubtedly the least expensive DIY spa treatment on the market. Also, if you do not have any peeling cream at home, you can simply take some olive oil mixed with salt or sugar and you got yourself a home made peeling cream.

I usually start by dry brushing my legs and then step into the shower to use some peeling cream.

2. Moisturize
Once the skin on my legs is rid of all the grit and grime, it's critical to top it with a moisturizer. I use either a dove body lotion or a body shop body butter, but really – anything goes.

3. Hair removal
So there are a couple of options here. Lets quickly go through them so that you can decide what works best for you.

Waxing
This is definitely my go-to option for hair removal. I usually go to a salon to get it done, but sometimes I do the lower legs by myself. I just find is soo convenient that I can go to a salon, get it done and then not worry about hair for at least 2 weeks.

As for the pain, I don’t really find it that painful, or even painful at all. Maybe I just have a high pain threshold?

Here is a guide on how to wax at home if you are new to waxing and considering it.

Shaving
If you experience issues with ingrowth hair after waxing or if you find waxing to be too painful, then shaving is probably a better option for you.  Just make sure to shave at the end of a shower to avoid irritation, as that is when the skin is the softest.

Other options for hair removal are depilatories and laser treatments. Unfortunately I have no experience in these so you will have to turn to Google for advice ;)

4. Moisturizing
When the hair is all gone its time to put on some more moisturizer and keep moisturizing properly through out the summer to keep the tan from disappearing.

5. Bronzing shimmer
Before stepping outside, mist your legs with some instant bronzing shimmer. It gives a natural-looking sheen and camouflages small imperfections with light-reflecting shimmer.


There you go. Super easy right? Maybe not even news for some of you, but it is fool prof. I love how this just gets your legs from feeling like a snow white light reflector to giving you that healthy glow. Just make sure not to go crazy with bronzers, a tint of color from some form of bronzing shimmer is fine, but don’t go out looking like you spent 3 weeks in a tanning salon.   




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Wednesday, June 10, 2015

No 6. Rule of a Lady and what having high standards actually means




First I just need to comment on the crazy things you come across when you google “high standards”. While I was doing some inspirational research for this article I came across hideous articles and I really don’t want to link to any of them but let me tell you: most of these terrible articles were on dating advice for men – where they basically defined high standards as the expected exterior beauty of a women or the conformity of one. Where being young and pretty, and a woman’s ability to change according to a man’s preference in behavior was valued more than her intellect, morals, humor and really anything that actually matters. I don’t know what was worse, the content of these articles or the appraisal of them in the comment sections.

Uurk – ok. Lets take a moment and do what Taylor Swift says and Shake It Of. 



There, feeling better already. Besides, I also have a voice, and I have this amazing platform to speak my mind. So, lets make sure it counts. 



With this rule, I would like to divide high standards into two different things, and two separate posts: 

  1. the most important which is the standards you set for yourself, and what that means 
  2. and what high standards should mean when applying it to people around you – be it a man or friends


In this post I will be talking about high standards you set for yourself and what that means, and next week we will be talking high standards and relationships. 

So, lets start.

I believe that I am a work in progress, that we all are a work in progress. That a big part of life is to learn new things, to improve our understanding of our surroundings and ourselves. Therefore, I also believe it to be important to sit back and reflect over our personal growth. I think that a good way of doing this is to define what it is we admire in people, and see if we hold some or any of those qualities ourselves.

I, for example, admire many of my friends and as I am writing this article I asked my self – what is it that I admire? Well, one friend is an amazingly kind person. She always choses kindness, and even others’ sometimes negative opinions of this never seem to get to her. Other qualities I admire are often kindness, selflessness, courage to show vulnerability; but also having a passion in life, being ambitious, having discipline and never settling.

Now. Having high standards for yourself is not about putting up a list of what you think you “should” do, or what you believe others expect you to be. And I am definitely not here to tell you that you need to feel bad about who you are today –the way magazines do when they tell you that you aren’t good enough if you don’t do anything and everything at the same time. Preferably in a pair of sky high and super expensive Prada shoes.

Instead, I would define high standards as embracing the journey of personal progress and committing to learning and growing by defining what qualities in life are important to you, why they are important and then try to incorporate them into your life.

An example of what I have made sure to incorporate into my life or the person I am today is the ability to be the same person and show the same amount of interest and respect to people regardless of if I am talking to the cleaner or the president.

I remember, at my first ever internship, how I really disliked when people would switch their attention from talking to me in the lunchroom as soon as the head of department would walk in the door. I guess my colleagues suddenly felt like getting his attention was of higher value to them then to show respect or common decency to an intern. I remember how instead of getting put down by this whole situation, I asked myself what this made me think of them. Which made me realize that I never want to behave like that, or make anyone feel insignificant due to what their job or work title is. Because we are so much more than just our job titles.

So what I am trying to say is that high standards are not about expecting yourself to be skinny, or be a super mom and wife while still having an amazing career. It’s about defining personal qualities that matter to you, that you find admirable, and trying to incorporate them into the person you are.

Next week I will be posting the second part of this article: high standards and relationships


–tell me your stories- I would love to know what high standards are to you and what qualities do you admire in others?


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