The No. 2 Rule of a Lady and why you don't need a man

Be the woman a man needs, not the woman who needs a man. click to tweet

We are told that men have a desire to be or feel needed and this whole men desiring to feel needed story steams from back in the days when women had little to no options of being independent and financially stable. In those days, men were proving to women that they loved them by their willingness to ”take care” of them. Today, we se a completely different situation, and frankly I think that, in a relationship, wanting someone in your life is much healthier than needing someone.  Needing denotes dependence and, in most cases, dependence in adults is not healthy.

As human beings we do need love and affection. But honestly, if that love and affection doesn’t come from a particular individual, despite what our fleeting feelings may lead us to believe, we don’t necessarily perish or even go on to live unfulfilled lives. Also, I believe that there are so many ways in which we can experience love that it would be extremely dangerous for all of that power to rest in the hands of just one person.

Do I want to grow up to be a happily married woman with a wonderful family – absolutely. Do I acknowledge I will be and have already been lonely at times without a relationship, of course. But do I think I need a partner – that I will be less of anything (a woman, a success, a loving person, etc.) without one, no. I have existed and thought I'd continue to exist under the belief that a relationship would enhance my life in tons of wonderful ways, but none that would be 100% make-or-break for me.

Very often individuals mistake a want for a need. We have all found ourselves saying we need something, but what is really true is that we want something. Think about it: who really needs a €500 pair of designer shoes? That’s a want. Likewise, a boyfriend is a desire, not a necessity - a glass of wine not a bottle of water. You want the wine. You know the wine will be good. There's a chance the wine will do things for you that are very good - calm you, entertain you, help you finally say that thing you really need to say, but you don't need the wine to survive.

A boyfriend is like a glass of wine. 
You want the wine, but you don't need it to survive.

So ladies, take care of yourselves, have an income, pay your bills, have a roof over your heads and buy your own food. This will show your guy that you want him even though you would survive just fine without him; and that for you, he is a desired luxury.


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